30/8/09 Sun , Rainy

its midnight now actually...Merdeka Day supposed to be..

sad news to receive that my grandpa passed away in Ipoh today at 5-6pm ....perhaps God loves him more than us.....hope he rest in peace!

28/8/09 Fri , Sunny

two lame lectures in morning..especially Dr Adi lecture which is so freaking boring....worst than Pn Zaleha 100 times..

did Infiltration on 12 of my clinical partner in oral surgery....and also on her hard palate...but when it was my turn to be jab , something happened ...she injected right thru my nasal conchae @@....my nose was block.....though the IDB numbness was really NUMB....lol..now my mouth can't really open very wide...pain!!

went to shop for files for erica , xinyi and myself....didn't ate much at lunch...and so i thought buying some McD nuggets to chew on would be good......zz but i had trouble opening my mouth...zzzzzzz and bought a new watch Casio........Rm 130 gone......sobs....APDSA !!! getting further by 130 steps from me =(

27/8/09 Thur , Rainy

had double clinic session...became a patient for scaling in the morning...then become operator for rubber dam and fissure sealant in the noon

unofficially done my ICD , went to Dr Safura place to request for patients...

officially my watch died the 2nd time....

went home in rain and stuck in jam for 2 hrs T_T...

tired

26/8/09 Wed , Rainy

no learn anything in the morning till HUKM in the afternoon..

had lunch with hsiao lynn all..

i didn't sit with yong siang today...i sat with chai jing and brian instead...i know everyone is curious..sure think don't know what happen again...but i will always remain as neutral...i am not at war...i don't side anyone...like i said before, i am just passing through this hell of a place...though i really don't know what he told someone till that someone getting further and further away from me.....even meet also no say hi....and yet i send them to HUKM every friday.......sometimes i really wonder what is wrong with people in this world...or is this world rejecting me?

hsiao lynn told me that eventually i will find my sanctuary where i am comfortable with...but i need to believe in it.......i don't know about that but i got a feeling that this journey is coming to an end..

went to HUKM ward rounding and bedside learning with Dr Abd.Muizz ....he was a really really nice doctor....very friendly too...i had first hand experience at history taking with a chinese patient suffering from recurrent MI....i spoke to him in mandarin ..wow...*claps to myself*

heavy rain soon...c ya

25/8/09 Tue , Sunny

first hand experience at scaling , did quite easily though my partner was not used to see me use left hand..

first hand experience at ward round and bedside learning with Dr Goh as well....she was really nice...and quite friendly..

and i don't know what someone did to another someone...but i feel something fishy is going on....someone is getting further and further away from me...i don't know is it due to the conversation we had that day or because of that someone...basically , all i wanna say is judge a person by yourself...don't get influence by anyone....i am what i am now....forget my past and let it be bygone......but for now i am real! perhaps u feel that i am a bad person after all.....just feel free to say it out..

and i am glad that Hsiao Lynn and Camy forgive my temper the other day....am terribly guilty to explode on them....

all i wanna have is a peaceful dinner...like that also can't? my useless dad made a rojak out of some fruits...he ask me try...but i didn't want to cos i know his sauce got cili padi....then he say "don't dare eat? fuck u....scare got poison?"

i straight dumped my rice and walked upstairs into my room...zzz

24/8/09 Mon , Cloudy

having the first hand experience on becoming an assistant....a tough case patient.....very headache..

had a funny tutorial with Dr Ismail for General Surgery....poor Farah kena aim....Devi become Daisy....and for heaven sake , this doctor is a malay and he speaks cantonese and mandarin!! walao

am tired now....=(

had a talk with someone...seems like didn't end up well....full of ignorance again....perhaps it's true

23/8/09 Sun , Cloudy

nothing special.....study , play...watch Decade ep30 huhu..next week finale!!

now looking for 戸谷 公人- treasure sniper mp3.......such a nice song haha

wanted to talk to someone but nowhere at sight...

thinking of tomorrow first clinic experience and GS tutorial.....*faints* going to HUKM 3 times this week omg...

22/8/09 Sat , Cloudy

wake up quite early in the morning....don't know why nor ask me why....biological clock problem haha....

went out breakfast and walk walk in the lake garden near my house....cool breeze and very relaxing...still remember the times i used to fish there...hehe

then came back shower , go out ta pao lunch again...on my way back , i saw this car which was really cool.....and i mean really cool for me!!! so i decided to drop by an accessories shop and check out prices on the items if i were to turn my ride into one of those haha....and gosh.....i will faint to the price...lol...

but i wanted to put purple xenon lights onto my ride a long time ago.....its not that expensive la..but the brembo brakes....killer price! haha..still considering whether to put on those Xenons on my ride, if i put them on means i need to drive out more often at night...lol....otherwise , no point putting lolz...hmmm

and wondering why someone giving me Katy Perry "hot and cold" treatment at times.....sigh..

21/8/09 Fri , Cloudy

such a happy day...though it started with boring Dr.Adi lecture..lol which i learned nothing hahaha...but eventually we did the inferior dental nerve block....i did it on my partner successfully with her saying no pain and i see no bleeding at all ^^ ...muahahahaha i am so pro muaahahahah

then we go eat in McD in Giant Cheras cos Chu Chun Hong and I and supposely Chin Sheng wanna meet up together but too bad Chin Sheng suddenly got class at 2pm..=( nvm ...can meet Chu Chun Hong also ok^^

go HUKM lecture 20min then finish and now at home blogging this haha

20/8/09 Thur , Sunny

tonight is the coating ceremony....apparently now i am in lecture writing this after seeing a pathetic sight....it really disgust me....not gonna elaborate further on this cause i don't know who might be reading this....if you wanna know more, ask me personally..

anyway , i guess i will leave as soon as i get my coat tonight.....while everyone will be busy photographing.....i really don't wanna face any of them anymore....it's sickening and yet disgusting just like a pest......and i thought someone would be different at least....but then everything turns out to be a huge disappointment...i really don't understand why...and they called themselves as my coursemates??

went to the Coating Ceremony...ended pretty fast as expected...nothing much and special about it...except that all my coursemates busy taking photos......except me....none of the photos are in my handphone this time...somehow i do not wanna get associated with them anymore...when i was driving home , many thoughts came flying to my mind , i rushed through 3 traffic lights without realizing it...then on my way home i been seeing several accidents as well

hmmph.........i am still a lone wolf at the end...i wish that, nvm.....forget it..off to bed now...am tired

19/8/09 Wed , Sunny

hmm , first day entering simulation clinic since 3rd year , had Dr Wan supervising us on the resin block exercise...i don't know what happened to my resin block but something seems to stuck there......it's not a broken file which i thought it was...it wasn't debris as well, i really don't know what is that...hope i can remove it the nex session...

first day not having lunch with all my coursemate but yong siang and 2 juniors...i didn't talk to those juniors as i vow not to get involved in those shit anymore......of course , chia shin and that bitch saw me....i wonder what they are mumbling......sure got new thing to hear again soon.....and i forgot to sign my attendance for simulation today...all i do i just ask a small favor from my coursemates to help me sign....but unfortunately none of them did......well , i really don't have anymore things to say....even , nvm.........the more i write this , the more pain i feel

i guess no one really understands me at all.........

18/8/09 Tue , Sunny

another pathetic day , a pathetic sight during morning that almost disgust me to death......and i even heard that bitch go ask junior for souvenir and give damn many assignments , not enough of that , she go ask Chia Shin do the same thing...what kind of senior is this?? it's pathetic.....i think u are not worth more than a garbage for treating juniors like that...

my class was supposed to end at 12pm although i can end it at 10am...i was just loitering there...then bungkus something back to eat lunch..reach home finished lunch at 1pm, then Chia Shin called me saying 2pm got class...i was like in "what the fuck" mode!! i then rushed ASAP to my campus again...barely late for class...reach like 1.55pm and had to wait till 3pm for class as group D has to let group C first...zzzzzz regretted for the rush...

almost had an accident due to the rush...anyway the class was quite worth it because Dr.Naga was a really good teacher and friend...he kinda reminds me of Mr.Lingam of Kasturi , who was a really great motivator........i supposed Dr.Naga is a brahmin also...from the way he talks la...such teacher are really rare and extinct edi..

everyone keep saying that the person maybe don't mean what she said, but i think i know that person more than anyone else does.......i know how bitchy she is.....all my ex-roommate knows...that's why she doesn't even dare to look at me today...she knows that i know what she meant...plenty of other coursemates were saying they didn't really think like her but who knows ....i don't think i should trust any of them....i am sick of them...enough is enough..........they are just pathetic pests to me.........

*off to listen Sammi Cheng oldies to calm myself down*

wow, i actually mistrusted another person again.....Hsiao Lynn i will remember what u did today...i treat u as friend and u betrayed our friendship by telling that bitch.........enough already.....u all are very sickening

*off to ninjutsu dojo to whack sandbag with sensei to chat and talk with*

back from dojo and talking with sensei.......just like what senpai said , he asked me to calm down......he also said i am better off be a lone wolf , so be it...there is no meaning in believing someone with doubt within my heart....thx sensei , senpai....am so tired now.....sandbagged for 30min nonstop! zz

17/8/09 Mon , Sunny

a terribly awful day for me....started off class with a happy mood till someone spoiled it...

i was just informing steven that they will get buddy back...fine , he don't trust me ...he go find out from his so call best friend who i called a totally bitch , JOHT and he mentioned it in class , then his bitch said so loudly and obviously for me "it's for IO ppl only"....pls la, i don't even intend to join, i am just informing steven after i receive sms from Angy.. then show shit face one whole day for what....coursemates? bullshit!!!!!

then in Dr.Norziha tutorial....she scold us the whole tutorial session for nothing...waste of time..

sucky day =(

people "fong fei kei" me again liao lor...as expected....so many excuses can be given.....even my cousin asked me why no ask fren go watch movie together.....ask fren liao end up ppl fong fei kei...better no ask....used to be alone already....once alone forever alone.....when they want to ask for ur help , they always so nicely..........when u need one , they were never there.....never!

what's the purpose for me to be in this world...is this my world? or this world is rejecting me?

16/8/09 Sunday , Sunny

tomorrow will be a hectic day for me...i will need to modify my study model and get it signed by Dr.Nurulhuda and tutorial at 2pm sigh...

having monday blues already...

and today i wanted to give the Birthday present to my cousin , just to find out that he was admitted to hospital because of dengue...so i went to visit him with Mom ...poor him..he must be bored at hospital..hope he get well soon..

and now i am feeling sleepy already....sigh

watched Decade ep29 ...touching enough....next week the true destroyer will be revealed and Daiki is now a new member of the Decade travelling companion haha......can't wait for the last episode next week hoho..

gonna miss Tsukasa and Natsumi sooonnnnnnn.....wish i could find a "Natsumi" in my life ...and my life will be perfect ...i am dreaming edi

after those picture i saw , everything , every moment , every hope gone...crushed...like a 10 tonnes weight dropped on my chest.....mayb i shud be like Kaito , be a solo thief....

14/8/09 Fri , Sunny

was a tiring day...

had two boring lectures today...gosh...almost fell asleep ...

then we had OHI and topical fluoride as well...me , my partner , and aisyah manage pretty well , kudos to 3 of us manage to finish in just 45minutes

it was kinda fun...the topical fluoride taste reali good lol..tempting me to swallow it swt..

saw ai ling and shumei all kena inject LA...so scary..poor ai ling...

had lunch with shumei , erica , yong siang , brian at a shop..not bad la..somehow my stomach still tak kenyang...swt

sent kwang chai and sook hui to lrt station and headed home with shumei..hehe and now blogging...Have a fun trip for those in APDSA

13/8/09 Thur , Rainy

well , a great day i supposed despite the rain...

measured my clinical coat size this morning , bought 2 .....

had lunch with Shumei and others..

waited till 2pm just for chaos moment... Dr Fay came in and ask us what are we supposed to do today....and she is blur just like us....showed her our models and many get banned...some even redo from impression...surprisingly , i didn't get banned and mine was taken by her as a "contoh" hahahahaha...i am proud of this ..yes i am!! but anyway , she taught us a lot of stuffs which the lazy Hisham didn't even bother to tell!!!! but she didn't sign any of our ICD card....and so with much question marks flying on my head , i turned to my coursemates and Dr.Nurulhuda.....i need more opinion in finishing off my model in trimming...and yup , as expected she said mine was ok enough , just trim a little bit more and adjust occlusal plane......anyway , i am glad enough that i actually did my part as a group leader this few days..kinda feel that responsibility is getting heavier on me...

wanna go back home the shorter way since i were late at around 5.30pm , saw the Pahang roundabout jam....=.= i made my way thru Maju Expressway to find myself in a GREATER jam...and i saw Shumei car few cars in front of me hahaha...wanted to chase her car....i underestimated the power of traffic jam by blocking my car to speed up...i only managed to reach her at the Bukit Jalil junction hahahaha...epic fail car race..lol...

still thinking of next year APDSA...very tempting...wanted to go with Brian and Shumei who also plans to go...Japan man!!!! Japan!!!! Japan in summer!!! omg so tempting.....even senior Lit Rean also agree if i go haha....sigh.....lol i wanna go ^^ ...saving my money from now then.....=) a happy day...

12/8/09 Wed , Rainy

it was raining cats and dogs since 6am from my house till my campus...jeez but the weather is still so hot!!

done pouring and trimming my model ...end up with my face covered with stones...sweats

had lunch with Erica , Xin Yi , Ai Ling , Yong Siang at Fuad's lol...

taught Wui Jing to unlock pdf files for Dr. Nazimi lectures as well...sigh , he must be thinking why dental students so computer literate hahahahahahahah. Dr Nazimi lose hahahahahah

having E&D at 2pm again sigh.....wait so long..

11/8/09 Tue , Cloudy

tiring day , did impression on my partner and was IMPRESSIONED by my partner....was kinda fun ...but i almost vomit once hahahaha....i experiment breathing through my mouth while my partner doing it ...lmfao..i am a daredevil

then i go and pour model with help from Hsiao Lynn... and thank u very muchy!

thank you to Kwang Chai also.... for "ta pau" food for me today...Happy Birthday ya!

came back home with tonnes of notes lol...

but very tired...how leh?

i am still disturbed by some pictures i saw today...i don't know why....

does that person knows how i feel right now? i guess not...

i don't know why or somehow i really care so much about stuffs like this...sigh

10/8/09 Mon , Rainy

a boring day as usual...

had lunch with Ying Ying , Bee Ting , Hui Tieng , Shumei at Setapak McD

hope piggy leg heals soon...

currently a known hacker..

boring 2 hrs afternooon lectures...

lots of notes to munch on...

heavy rain on way back home..flash flood on the road....and i am sleepy with slight runny nose as i am sleepy....zzzz

and ya, i saw more hurting photos.....that i didn't wishes to see...now that it hurts even more...i don't know why

conclusion , i give up...

being a thief is still better than being a good guy

9/8/09 Sun , Sunny

another weekend passed with boredom....played Sudden Attack whole day in hope that i forget everything that happened last night..but it didn't work really that well ....had a long talk with piggy over msn.....really glad to have her to talk with during the whole morning =)

8/8/09 Sat , Sunny

an absolutely awful day for me.......

went to KTSN pick up YS and go for GI Joe and some shopping...bought a nice BUM Equipment watch for my cousin...

PS: i buy that watch because it is the cheapest i can find in Pavillion after 1.5hrs of hunting and not because of the pretty salesgirl there....

came home in hope of being able to actually meet my Aussie cousins with my family...but as expected , everythings are screwed up.....why is my family like this? its not even like a family...i hate it...my mom hates my dad and his sides and vice versa....but those are my cousins...i wanna meet them...........she doesn't wanna go and she used me as an excuse....i was really mad and i end up quarreling with her..i am at a point that i never thought i will reach...i am at a point that i don't really wanna care anymore about the people around me...

i seriously hate my family now....

i ran out of patience...

enough is enough...

enough of this stupid family politics..

from today onwards , i will not speak anymore words to them.........my life is all about myself! i don't need a fucking family!

7/8/09 Fri , Cloudy

yup , its weekend again ...had a demonstration on LA by Dr. Nazimi today and 2 series of boring lectures in HUKM.....

went to had lunch with bunch of coursemates at Tmn Connaught famous duck rice....actually more to char siew rice! lol all of us order same thing....its kinda expensive but the taste is ok...but it doesn't fill my gigantic stomach!!!! *aww*

then i had a waffle and i share with yong siang.....end up dirtying my shirt!!! *holy shit* and i am still not full YET!! i am writing this blog in hunger =(

plan to go out tomorrow for G.I.Joe movie and buy a present for my dearest "kor kor" birthday...seems that no one wanna accompany me go...guess i am alone again as usual..let see if i can find anyone last minute to go =(

guess the feelings is slowly fading away , only me get to decide the destination of my journey

6/8/09 Thur , Hazy

very bad haze....i hate it...

another tiring day...

i did my first case presentation to Dr.Fay today..*OMG*....i am so nervous that i sweat so much....lol the Dr. Fay also laughed at me *oMG* i learned so much from her.....subgingival plaque is usually black while supragingival plaque is usually yellow...thx Dr!

my partner also made me realised that my upper 8's are unerupted....*holy shit* haha...hope it don't get impacted or else 3 MOS waiting for me !! *cries*

tmrw is Jocelyn birthday , so here i am wishing u Happy Birthday and i hope your schizophrenia heal soon!!!!

wanted to go out this saturday.....wonder if that person free to teman me go watch G.I Joe! haha

can't wait to meet up with Abi , Thomas and Benjamin this Saturday dinner...miss u all cuzzie!

5/8/09 Wed , Rainy Hazy

today was just another tiring day , wanna say thanks to Jocelyn for willing to listen to me and lend a pair of ears to me..

i went to Kamal and bought 2 books and RM200 gone..

then me, Jocelyn, Shin went out at Uncle for lunch....trapped in the rain...what the fuck!!

during clinic today , me and my partner did radiographs on each other , it was a great experience and we even finally posed in pigeonhole room to take picture for the coating ceremony ....first time ever hahaha

now my leg is so pain......tired....=(

4/8/09 Tue , Sunny

today it was a tiring day , but i am still glad to have Dr.Jasmina as my mentor and Dr. Syarifah Syuriana for my prostho doctors........i don't know why , but i am seriously breaking down....i am seriously losing my strength to go on this rough road...

today , we had demo on ergonomics...it was fun being a patient and assistant...Dr.Nurulhuda was there..i am very GLAD indeed ...God knows why hahahaha

it's been two days we didn't talk nor message each other........

today , i had lunch with dai lou , ying ying and bee ting.....they keep bombing me......saying me wanna be "wu ling gao shou" , i was thinking of kungfu master but what they means is 50 master......means stay single till fifth year...they ask me to learn to chase girl by go playing the stupid Restaurant City and Pet Society...go level up high get money give girls...cheat them.....=.=

to me , i feel damn super lame...if that girl is meant for me , i don't need to do anything so lame to get her........but if i am destined to be alone all my life , then so be it......they keep saying family is so important , but the family i am having now is chaotic! they know me so superficially that i feel that they are just normal coursemates to me...all they know is bullshit and crap...guess i will be up on my bed whole night again for the 3rd night....i almost twice had a near-accident today on road because i am not concentrating my brain fully because of this chaotic family i have..........be strong Kelvin...u have no one to support u anymore soon! be strong!!!

oh , i met Fiona on my way back too...such a coincidence..long time no see....

oh , and i had a conversation with my best friend whether if i am okay with my choice , i will be alone if i go on with that choice.......i said " no matter whether i am apart or what , nothing will change , i am just passing through"

thats all for now...

3/8/09 Mon , Sunny

today was a day i will never forget , a day i learned to be a real dentist....it was really fun!! i managed to do E&D in 15minutes on first time....lol but then again i knew my partner was dentally fit ...so it was an easy task haha really enjoyed it...

had a simple unfinished lunch and rush back to do the E&D touch-up haha

really such a nice year for me...i am loving dentistry now

however , i been having sleepless night...damn...i close my eyes and i hear dragunov and trg-21 sounds "bang bang" in my head....regretted playing Sudden Attack SEA....shit hahahaa

and i am worried bout the coating ceremony thingy..............on 2oth August...my class ends at 4pm , drive home reach 5pm or more....bath eat dinner 6pm, then rush to KTSN again , the ceremony will end at least at 11pm , i drive back home again 12am midnight....bath dry hair 1am....then wake up back at 5am.....walao can die wei...how lah....!!!

today i learned a very valuable lesson........i shouldn't be weakened by all the obstacle i am having now....i need to be strong...be really strong to fight on the journey ahead.........wish someone is with me and support me all the way though that person will never know how i feel............i am just passing through anyway...i just hope u will never view me the same way as others do...

-laters-

2/8/09 Sun , Sunny

tomorrow my class reopens again finally ....been bored to death at home with no one to talk or chat with....

today on episode 27 of Decade , it really touched my heart how Natsumi sacrifice her life to safe Tsukasa and how Tsukasa trying to sacrifice himself just to heal Natsumi back....it was obvious that Tsukasa scenario was just like Yuusuke scenario as Yuusuke lost his love one........and it was actually lucky that Daiki willing to give Tsukasa the metal thingy to safe Natsumi..am still waiting for the subs episode ....

=( *emo* ...i am reluctant to go class tomorrow =( though i am bored at home .......*dots*

1/8/09 Saturday , Cloudy

nothing much today as well, except that my mom started working and i had a terrible dinner.....

also heartbroken........saw some pictures that i shouldn't see =(

perhaps , i am not suited for it........*pats own back*